oh man it's like bedtime and my dad still is not here. oh well. i guess i can see him in the morning, and the morning after that, and then the one after that one. we can totally have breakfast together. no sharing though. mom hardly makes enough for me.
today i poopied like an the ice cream factory at pizza hut. there was no end of poopies. i ate loads too. i think mom tried to do me in with some old baby rice mixed with pears. it didn't smell bad and it didn't taste bad but mom said a few hours later- hey i wonder if that was bad. i don't know, i felt fine all day. we'll see how tomorrow goes. if she gave me food poisoning, i am so calling the health department.
what else? hung out with gram for a bit. read stories, had a million wiggles. went for a surprise trip in the car to where else- pizza hut. mom and gram voted they wanted pizza for dinner. that has been my day. lots of waiting around for dad to show up.

my dad is coming tomorrow!

blah blah blah blah blah. mom says you can have real posts after she is done being tired.

mom let me stay up late and watch ghost hunters with her. oh man it was so scary. luckily i had blankie to hide behind. i don't want no ghosts to get me.
oh yeah, blankie and i are the two funniest fuckers around. mom got me up to change me. i had a wet diaper, man i piss like a race horse. anyway. she got the new diaper on me, all nice and dry. she was just starting to snap up my jammies when i did a huge stinky poopie. ha! blankie and i laughed our asses off.

no updatery for you

ok, maybe a little updatery. my mom must be a secret agent or something. she packed a bag and walked out the door and didn't come back for a super long time. i spent the whole day, and i mean the whole day with my gram. we did loads of fun stuff, but that's between me and gram. i don't have to tell you guys everything.

insert update here

i've got a dinner date tomorrow. mom says the most important thing to remember about dinner parties is: not to drink so much that you puke on the host. ok. i am also not to spit or throw food around. damn. i can get away with peeing in my pants apparently.
having a nice morning. gram gave me a bath. i had loads of splash time with my rubber duckies and got clean too. i ate a huge breakfast and then had a nap. for lunch i had some kind of veggie casserole with smashed sweet potato on top. i ate two bowls. damn my gram makes good food.

what the hell happened to friday? mom is such a slacker.

happy turkey eating day. i'm getting my bounce on. so far this morning i have downloaded 3 stinky poopies. i ate a double batch of baby rice and half a banananaa mixed with apple chunks. plus mom gave me some water in a sippy cup. what a morning. and it's not even 10am yet.

i was a pretty good boy today. i had a long ass nap and got up for lunch. mom stuffed me full of chicken casserole that my gram made me- it was good. i ate it all. then i had some mango and apple chunks. also very good. after i got cleaned up from lunch i went out with gram and grandad. we went on a super duper adventure. we saw ducks! millions of ducks! all very loud and very opinionated. when we got back mom stuffed me full of more yummy food and i downloaded another poopie- highfive. what a day.

holy crapamoly. you should see the way cool things my moms came back with for me. yesterday she went on one of her adventures and was gone all day long. where did she go? i don't know but i spent the day with gram having loads of fun. story time at the library was involved as was food shopping and a walk in the park.
this morning i've been helping gram cook. we made lemon cake- yum yum yum. i also watched her cook up some sweet potatoes and carrot mush for my lunches. i got to have a huge bowl, man it was good. i ate it all and would have had more but gram and mom were afraid of causing blow back. for breakfast i had a double batch of baby rice and then some banananana. i eat like a pro. my dad wants to know where all the food goes- in my mouth and out my butt, duh.
so anyway, like i said shaky chair was retired over the weekend and that rather bummed me out. i love my shaky. you'll never believe what mom surprised me with this afternoon- bouncy chair. it's really weird but i like it. the thing clamps in the doorway and i stand in it and bounce. when dad comes with my football i can start practice for the premier league.

my god what- haven't- i eaten today. i am so full of good food, it's ridiculous. for breakfast i had a double serving of baby rice with mushy apple mixed in. fresh mushy apple that my gram made for me. then i had banananna mixed with mango. i had some warm milk. for lunch i had a big bowl of cheesy leaky soups. i ate it up, yum. i had more warm milk. then just a minute ago mom fed me mushy apple with banananna. that wasn't enough so i got more apple mixed with mango. i was still opening my mouth when that was gone so mom gave me a bit of just apple. phew i think i am full for a bit now. had loads of wiggle today. mom and i went food gathering. that was fun, i haven't been outside all week. first i was sick and then the weather was retarded. so it was nice to get out for a little while. mom read me loads of stories. so it's been a pretty good day. tomorrow i am spending the day with gram because mom is taking a trip to lincoln. they have a castle and a big church i hear.
oh and yesterday i totally ate a kiwi fruit mushed up with my banananna. mom let me touch a kiwi fruit today- man it was weird. i was expecting a gay guy from new zealand. she handed me this brown fuzzy thing that looked like a mouse with no tail. she says the inside is green like boogies. cool!

i am sad. it's been a few days since i've seen shaky chair. blankie and i went around to visit all my friends asking if they had seen shaky. the fishfriends hadn't. meerkat mike and mr crabs hadn't. then i heard blankie call me- shaky is here, behind the couch. so i went over to investigate. oh it was terrible. shaky was all pulled to pieces, it's too late to save him. my shaky is gone. i asked my gram what had happened. she sat me down and explained that i was a big boy now and shaky was more for little babies. so shaky was on his way upstairs to live in the attic waiting for the next baby in the family to need him. oh shaky i will miss you.
been spending the morning with my gram. she stuffed me full of baby rice and mushed banannananas. gram knows how to cheer me up.

it's saturday. had an alright day i guess. mom and i hung out. she pinched a nerve in her neck so i had fun tossing things on the ground and watching her trying to pick them up. i wiggled. we read stories. i had naps and warm milk. i ate a double batch of baby rice for breakfast. gram came home from work and i hung out with her too. she stuffed me full of food and watched me play. gram went out to get some bannanannaas for my breakfast tomorrow. i told mom that i was starving and she fed me too. i thought i was going to explode. i looked like a little sausage. i guess that's the news. it was really cool to see my dad yesterday, such a surprise. mom says that he will be moved up in just over a week. yippie. dad and i have so much stuff to do. i can't wait to chew on his data printouts.

i haz cold. mommy haz cold. weez sicked.
i had strange dream today. i drempt that i was sleepy time in my comfy bed when all of a sudden a bright light appeared over me and i saw strange mens faces. now from watching discovery channel with mom- this is exactly what UFO abducted people say happens to them. so i told mom about it. check to see if they have implanted anything! she told me everything was fine. those strange men were just dad and mr chris stopping by to say hi on their way for flounder. no aliens came to poke me.

busy day today. 3 stinky poopies plus dad and mr chris stopped by to visit again. i was awake this time. i showed off my best wiggles and gave some giggles. it's so nice to have other people to hang out with other than mom.

me and meerkat mike hung out for a bit this morning. he got annoyed because i was trying to eat his bug.(and then i bit his nose) pound for pound maggots have more protein then steak.
been having a nice day. my gram dressed me up- check me out. mom took a billion pictures like usual.
spent the morning doing this and that. spent time with grandad and gram. went shopping with mom and gram. i had a huge bowl of my grams super yummy carrot and lentil soup. been in a pretty good mood over all, so no complaints.

today has been an eating and sleeping kind of day. last night i got up at 11.30pm and had a huge ass bottle of warm milk. next thing i know blankie is telling me it's 7am. what the hell! the sun was already up and so was grandad. mom gave me some warm milk and we had some play time. read stories, watched tv, wiggled. ate and slept. ate and slept some more, read stories, wiggled, you get the picture. i went out with the big people for a late lunch. we all piled in grandad's new car and went to pizza hut. it was cool. mom gave me something called a green pepper and something called a red onion. they were kinda weird but i ate them anyway. i was a good boy in the pizza hut. by the time we left it was already dark outside. i was very concerned about this, i never really go out in the dark time. luckily no spooky things attacked us on the drive home. no vampires, no bats, no mad dogs, no giant pink donuts. i've been a little disagreeable tonight. i'm going to have some quiet time with my gram while mom gets her poster geekery fix.

ahhhh, bootie!

it's monday. i spent yesterday with my gram. not sure where mom was. she just up and disappeared.

mom says i'm not supposed to chew on her blankie- nom nom nom.

yeah! my gram feels better. i spent the morning hanging out with her. we had breakfast together and then went on a grocery gathering trip and long walk. phew. if i was facing another day with mom and one of her boring lectures, i would have to scream. lately she has been banging on about color theory and plants. blah blah blah. this is a deciduous tree, the leaves turn color and fall off. this is a conifer tree. blah blah blah. blankie says that conifer trees are were ice cream cones come from. now that is an interesting fact which might be useful. knowing about sap and photosynthesis- what am i going to do with that information? don't get me started on color theory. pigment based or light based color, primary, secondary, tertiary, yellow/yellow/green with a hue value of 5. shut up already. i just want to read the book about red strawberries and yellow ducks.
gram made about a million yummy things to eat yesterday. for my lunch today i got to try some creamy veg soup with broccolies. i ate it all.

oh yeah i have learned to spit. not only is it fun, but a useful skill too. when i am done eating whatever mush mom is stuffing me with, i start to spit and food goes shooting every where.

my goal for the next week is to work the phrase- go eat a bag of dicks into casual conversation. not much to report. my gram is still sick and my mom is still annoying. she made me eat carrot, sweede and mashed pots today. i was having none of it. i did talk her into some mushy bananannaa though. i had fun watching her squirm. mom hates touching fruit and the strings on bananannaas freak her out. it's like lunch time theater. well i guess it's official now. dad told his boss that he will take the job. i will be living here the next three years at least. humph. mom says- maybe i can have a pet fish. oooh fish! been doing stuff. mom gave me my clothes back today. she said i was no longer feverish from my shots. there are loads of pictures but they will have to wait for another day.

my dad is in trouble. he didn't call gram for her birthday. mom says he is entering a world of pain. whatever that means.

have some random off the image feed. i'm taking the day off. mom has PBS again. gram is sick, on her birthday, man that sucks. the nurse's evil pokes are making me feel funny. it's a day on the couch with blankies and chocolate all around.

i got mom up at 2am, 4am and 6am. i topped my 6am wake up call with a big pile of stinky poopie. mom said- is there poopie in those pants? and i just laughed. mom made me sit around until 7am for my baby rice. i ate most of it. we then went and had some play time until i fell back asleep. mom said i was going to get a big surprise today, and i did. it was not a good kind of surprise. i was nice and warm in my bed having a good sleep when all of a sudden mom bundled me up like some sort of IRA kidnap victim. she just threw blankie over me and ran me out to the car. what the hell? it was cold outside. gram drove us to this place i vaguely remember visiting before. we sat and waited until our names popped up on the board- harwick, room 8. we all walked down to the room and there was cute blond nurse- how you doin'? i gave her a few smiles. i sat in the chair with gram and mom undid my jammie legs. next thing i know cute nurse is poking me with sharp sticks, in both legs. i let out a few mighty yelps but didn't cry nearly as much as last time. i even managed to give cute nurse a smile before we left.
other than that it's been an alright day. had a nice nap with my gram and some fun play time. mom says it's early to bed because the shots will make me feel funny and the more i sleep the better off i'll be.

i was evil to mom again last night. i got her up at 3.30am and wouldn't go back to sleep until 5am. even after she pumped 9oz of warm milk into me. i was up again at 5.30am-ha. i got my baby rice at 7, like usual but i refused to go back to sleep until 8am. i got up again at 8.30-double ha. by then my gram and grandad were up. mom handed me off to them and she went to sleep on the couch. i had some bannanannaa with gram and a bit of warm milk then it was straight to sleep for me, no problem.
after mom got up we all got ready and went to the park. mom tagged along cause she wanted to see the water buffalo. we walked around and around. i saw loads of leaves. i fell asleep and didn't wake up until we stopped to look at the buffalo. he was way down the field so all we really got to see was his butt. trust me, water buffalo do not have nice looking butts. we didn't stay there long. we walked up a big hill and went to visit this old church. if my mom is outside, chances are she is sitting in a grave yard taking pictures. oh it's so boring. at least i had gram along on this trip to keep me company. we got home just in time for it to get dark. i am going to have some warm milk and get in bed. all that fresh air has worn me out. mom says that tomorrow i have a big surprise coming my way.

my gram and grandad are back. everything is right with the world again. i slept a million times better last night. i got up at 3am and had a huge ass bottle of warm milk. i wanted to stay up and watch tv with mom but she said- back in bed. humph. i eventually went back to sleep and didn't get up again until 6am. i woke mom up with a poopie attack-ha. that never gets old. spent the day with my gram soaking up kisses and having fun. i was in such a good mood, mom says it's because i slept for once.
gram and i went to the church fayre across the street. there were loads of people and so much to see. mom showed up too. she bought me treats. i got some cool new stuffies. after that mom went to town and i just hung out with gram. what a nice day. tomorrow i hope for more of the same. mom says if she can manage not to eat it all, tomorrow i can have some risotto. sounds interesting.

ok word has reached me that some people are still saying i have red hair. this is a lie. i do not have red hair. my mom may be crazy but she has excellent color vision. i am blond. it's like this- polar bears really aren't white. they have in fact clear hair- or so i have picked up off the discovery channel. they only look white because they are surrounded by snowz. their fur is picking up reflected light/color. ok. since my hair is so light in color and i am usually sitting on a pink couch, every time the flash goes off my hair picks up reflected light- which happens to be pink which then makes my hair look red, when it is in fact blond. and just to twist the knife- red hair/blond hair, at least i still have hair. ooof pwnded by a baby. i await your rebuttal. danna bunny, g-dad and mel are coming over and they will tell you the real deal.
my gram is still not back yet. it's dark and night night time for me.

i'm countin' it old school.

mom says she is totally going to buy this print and hang it above my bed. she thinks new pope looks like a guy who eats children. he is even scarier than old pope.

i took it easy on mom last night, i let her get 4hrs of sleep- in a row. mom says only 1more day until gram returns from the beach and only 10more days until she takes the long slow bus to cambridge for a peaceful day out. dad should be moved back by the end of the month too so maybe mom can have a bit of a normal life again, or at least a few hours of sleep. i'm going to go complain about something, not sure what yet.

this morning i almost rolled over. i haven't done it yet. i'm like totally capable of rolling over, i'm just lazy. why roll over to get a toy when if you scream long enough mom will give it to you? oh yeah while sitting on the couch i did pull off a face plant/front slide into a full chest press. mom was most impressed. stupid gravity. read the noisy kitten book. drank my milk and reluctantly had my naps. i had a huge bowl of baby rice for breakfast. mom gave me a new soup for lunch, we'll see what happens with that. i have been eating my grams carrot and lentil soup- which is really nice, but now we are all out. today mom ground up some of grams italian veggie soup- it's got like a million veggies in it and some tomato sauce. after running it through the grinder it was just a chunky paste. i really liked it. i had a massive bowl of that. mom says all going well i can have another bowl tomorrow. for dessert i got some fruity custard- meh. mom is going to get one of my mushy mango cubes out of the freezer and i can have that later. that's about it really. mom and i are getting on each other's nerves. going to complain to my danna bunny later. get mom in trouble with her mom, it's a family tradition.