this morning while mom was getting ready i put on my own boot. mom always picks what shoes i wear and that annoys me. i never get to wear what i want. so this morning i got one of my puddle jumping boots and put it on- all by myself. mom said, fine you can wear that if you want. whoo-hoo. small victory for me.
gravity and its evil minon forward momentum continue to give me trouble. and i continue to give mom trouble. mom was trying to get me ready to go out for our walk, i had everything on except 1 boot. mom grabbed me by the back of the jacket and was dragging me into the hallway while i thrashed and wiggled in protest. i managed to get away from her only to run head first into the wall. ouch. i wacked myself hard. i cried and mom got a cold fishy to put on my forehead.
this afternoon was all about dad. all i wanted to do was hang out with dad. mom tried to feed me dinner and i told her to cram it. dad fed me dinner and i ate it all up. i sat with dad and watched starwars. the last fight between the whiney bitch guy and the black plastic guy was so exciting i said- 'oooh, what's that'. mom said they were using light sabers to fight.
after starwars dad helped me have a splash in the bath. he makes the best bubbles, seriously- the best bubbles. i let mom dress me in my jammies but then i went right back to dad with blankie. we all sat down together for quiet time. what a nice way to end a day.

today turned out better than yesterday, which is good. mom and i didn't have any major disagreements. we had fun playing and reading stories. i took my nap and ate my food. so yeah, alright.
i banged my face again on the table. i was sitting in one of the big people chairs. mom saw me and said i was doing a great job. i was drinking my juicy and kicking my legs, ladeda. next thing i know i'm in a heap on the floor and my eye hurts. i think i will have to practice my chair exits a little more.

today was not a very good day. mom and i had a fight about everything.

mom took me to see santa

mom and i practiced our songs before we went out. she sang- the clock said tictoc, the clock said tictoc, it's time to say hello. and then i said- tictoc. today mom made me walk all the way to the cathedral. i saw the kitties. they were running around the grass. good morning kitties. i walked around the cathedral a bit. i heard the big bells ring. mom said that it was time to continue our walk. we passed the cathedral school and i could hear all the kids running around playing but i couldn't see them. it was very confusing. i wasn't in the mood to figure things out. i told mom just to put me in buggy.
mom and i went to music class. i was a good boy. afterwards we picked up a few things at the store.
this afternoon mom and i just hung out playing blocks and watching movies. she let me watch harsh time and the brothers grimm. interesting, interesting. after movie time the monkey shows were on. i did my best to say monkey. i'm almost there. the k part is giving me a hard time.

tuesdays. mom and i don't have any thing to do on tuesdays so we just wonder around the shops looking for monkeys to rescue or old cameras or weird shit mom thinks is cool. today we found a really great little monkey and some blocks.
we got home and i dragged the blocks out of the shopping bags. i wrestled with the bag before giving up and dragging it over to mom for her to open. mom got the bag open and then handed it back to me. i dumped all the blocks right out onto the floor and then just dove on top of them. the new blocks rule! i ended up playing with them for most of the day.
mom got the new monkey out for me to introduce to all my other monkeys. i bit his nose. i then found a tissue and helped him blow his nose. mom told me to give him a kiss so i gave him a kiss too. new monkey is pretty cool. his tag says GUND so i guess that is what i will call him.

i got up this morning and something is different. i can't quite put my finger on it. either my head has grown or my hair has shrunk, either way i can now see without pushing hairs out of my eyes. when dad saw what happened to my head he marched me in to see mom and said i looked like some dude called andy warhol.

mom said if i didn't straighten up and fly right she was going to get dana bunny on the phone. and she did. dana bunny talked to me. she's not so scary, i don't know what dad is talking about.
i didn't have a nap today. haha. no naps for me. i also made a ton of poops. haha. my dad is home now so i'm going to hang out with him and do guy stuff. he's been letting me eat potato chips. mom makes me eat left-over surprise for dinner. guess what i like better.

so far so good i guess. i didn't get up too early. i didn't knock all my books off the shelf- yet. i went to pixie class and was a good boy. i helped mom pick out a new peeler.

today i am disagreeable. watch out everyone. you want whine, i'll give you some whine.

this morning while out for my walk i noticed mr moon was still up. i kept pointing and chattering at him. i see you mr moon. no funny stuff.
i have picked up a few new skills lately and mom is not sure where i am learning these things. since they are pretty important to my survival and will come in handy later in life, she won't complain.
new skill #1: i knock on doors. yup. if a door is closed i like to knock on it. i think knocking makes a cool sound. i spent some time the other day in the kitchen knocking on the cabinet where mom keeps all the grocery bags. mom said if anyone answers that door i should probably run away.
new skill #2: i know how to get the dust out of my snack cup when i am eating cheese puffs. mom gave me a snack cup with some baby friendly cheese puffs yesterday. since it was the end of the bag, there was a lot of dust at the bottom of the cup. i licked my finger and stuck it in the cup and then when it was all covered in dust i stuck the finger in my mouth. then i repeated the process until all the dust was gone. mom wasn't sure what to make of that. i heard her question dad when he got home but he denies showing me how to do it.
today i went to my music class. i was my usual good self. i helped mom with the shopping afterwards and that was pretty much my day. watched some monkey shows. then mom almost bored me to sleep with some history show she was watching about concentrated jews.

hoooof. everyone has gone home again.
when it was time to say good bye to gram i tried to say 'gram don't go, stay here with me' but all that came out was ga-ga. i was so embarassed but gram knew what i was trying to say.
everyone went out the door and i only cried a little. i waved and pushed the door closed. mom got blankie and sat down with me so i could have some hugs. i was ok. mom and i played and then went out to get some shopping done. i was sad to see everyone leave but i know i'll see them again soon.

you guys aren't going to believe this, hell i'm not sure i believe it. but it's got to be real. i mean i was there. i saw it with my own eyes. monkey world is a real place. it's not just a show i watch on my tv every day, at least once. it's a real place with real monkeys and today i went there with gram, grandad and mom. it was kind of a wet and yucky day when we got there. no one else wanted to hang out with monkeys in the rain so we pretty much had the whole place to ourselves. i saw loads of monkeys. i had a lemur shake its tail at me. the orangotans watched me eating treats and were getting annoyed that i had some and they didn't. the best part was seeing all the monkeys and each one had its own blankie. monkeys love blankies too. i'm glad mine staid in the car though, i don't want to share blankie with a monkey no matter how much i like them.

today i woke up and i found auntie amy and uncle tom asleep on the couch. how cool. it's been ages since i've seen them. we had a really great time hanging out this morning.
for lunch i got to eat at the pub. mom ordered me a sausage and plate of beans. i like both of those things. i was a little fussy after lunch. no wait- i was downright disagreeable. i went into town with gram and auntie amy. i complained about everything.
they finally took me howm and i complained some more. mom told me to get blankie and get into bed. i fought with gram and mom about naps. i don't want no stinking naps. in the end i fell asleep though. it's hard work getting up at 5.30am and crying most of the afternoon.
i got up in a better mood. i played with auntie amy. she is on my favorite list because she brought me two new stuffed monkeys and a paper monkey. i hung paper monkey up on the notice board with my collection of monkey pictures. after dinner auntie amy helped me splash in the bath. it was fun. i'm just going to hang out now and listen to some songs before bed.

today i went to the seaside with my gram and grandad. i had a really good time. the extra socks and sweatpants my mom packed me came in handy. when i got home i found that mom had found me a new monkey friend and some kind of tripped out lizard. what a great day.

my gram and grandad are here. i am having so much fun. pixie maz called me to say she wasn't feeling well and that class was canceled. that's too bad. i was looking forward to taking gram to class and showing her how to drink pixie tea.
i'm off to have an adventure. gram packed my puddle stomping boots.

grandad called, he's on the way! whoo-hoo. he's bringing gram too. i've been helping mom get the house ready all morning. by helping i mean dragging all my toys out and scattering them around the livingroom. when i ran out of toys i tossed all my books around. and then i found my blocks. so you can imagine what the livingroom looks like.
it's been raining out all day.

doh! i forgot to wish my gram a happy birthday. happy birthday gram. i'm working on some kisses for you.
mom and i had a good day. we played nicely together and didn't fight. i went to music class and was a good boy. i had two walks. the only thing i didn't do was eat my dinner.

i had tooterfish and pasta for my dinner tonight. it was really good. mom says i can have a tooterfish samich sometime too. it's time for me to get ready for bed. mr moon is out and he's really damn scary. i don't care what anyone says. every time i see him i start crying. mom helped me build a fort, i spent a little time in there hideing out.

i over heard mom and dad talking this morning. i think gram and grandad might be coming for a visit this week. i hope i hope i hope. mom said there might even be another super surprise guest on saturday. whoo-hoo.
this morning i woke mom up. i got up and she just pulled her blankie over her head and rolled over. so i pulled her blankie until i saw her ear and then i leaned over her ear and said 'mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom' she picked me up and put me on the floor so i could run around. i went and got dad up.
monkey shows are back on in the morning. whoo-hoo. i watched an hour of monkeys before mom got me ready and we went out of a walk. it's tuesday. mom and i don't have any thing booked for tuesdays. we just roam around. mom took me to the park and we walked up the steep hill. i wanted to see trains, mom said we could go watch trains. so we walked down one of the paths that over looks the station. i saw two trains before mom said we had to go do other stuff. we walked back up a really big hill into the park and then mom said i could sit in buggy. phew. mom gave me some oaties to eat while we went around the shops. not a bad way to spend a tuesday morning i guess.

today mom and i actually had a pretty good day.
i slept until 5.50. mom and dad seemed to think that was pretty good. i got everyone up and we watched the morning shows. 'you know who the hoobs are.'
i had my breakfast- a huge bowl of oatmeal mush with some banannana in there for good measure. i still had plenty of room left to beg toast off dad though. there's always room for toast.
the weather was really craptastic, total monday. the rain was pissing down, it was grey and cold. mom and i just hung out and watched some shows. i played with my toys and sang a few songs. mom said even though it was raining out, we still had to go out and do things. so we got dressed and went out.
mom took me to music class. i really wasn't in the mood today. as soon as i saw jojingles i busted out the llama face and started to whimper. i hid behind mom for the first part of class. i didn't even want to go up to the boxes and get instruments. i sat next to ollie in class, he's really cool. he was trying to steal my juicy and oaties.
nothing really interesting with the rest of my day. mom gave me a bath after i had dinner. mom gives second rate baths. dad is way better. i expressed my dissatisfaction by crying when she said it was time for the bubbles to leave.

mom dragged me off to the park today. it was full of people doing all kinds of weird stuff. i didn't want to know, all i wanted to do was watch trains. mom said it was rememberance sunday and that's why we've been wearing poppies all week. blah blah blah. 90years since the end of the first world war. blah blah blah. trains trains trains. finally she just shut up and took me down to see some trains. whoo-hoo.
we also went to boots and i got my very own big boy pocket comb. the baby hairbrush just isn't cutting it any more. i need something to keep my curls under control.
on the way home there was a bunch of old guys and a band marching down the street. mom made us stop and watch. one of the guys waved at me.
dad and i went out for a walk in the afternoon time. he walked me up to his work and then back again. mom staid home and made things for dinner. she said today was mexican night. oh really? all i got was a half assed grilled cheese samich.
i've decided that mr moon is very scary. i saw him watching me to night while i ate my dinner. i crouched down in my chair and started crying until mom closed the blinds. i don't like the look of mr moon. mom told me that mr moon is really good friends with twinkle. i'm not convinced. scary.

mom says i lose some big boy points. getting up at 5am is not acceptable. hooof. i did get a treat though for being a good boy at the grocery store. somewhere in the store today was a little girl. how do we know this? everywhere mom and i went looking for things on the list we could hear her screaming. first she screamed NO! NO! NO! and then she screamed I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! and then she screamed DADDY i WANT iT! over and over again. i on the other hand didn't make a sound the entire time we were in the store. mom and i quickly left with what we had in the basket. when we got outside mom told me i was a good boy in the store and i did a good job. she gave me a bite of the sinoman swirl pastry thing she bought.
i didn't even have to ask

my effort to gross out mom did not work. i found something sticky and slimy stuck to the wheel of buggy. i pealed it off and took it in to mom. i placed it in her hand and she looks at me, looks at the blob and says- 'what the hell is this? gross, looks like a runned over worm or something.'
then she just wiped it off and washed her hands and then i got my hands washed. that was it. she suggested next time i find something gross like that to save it for dad, he will puke for sure.
mom took me to watch trains.

this morning i got mom and dad up at 4.50am. mom says that is even worse than 5am, it doesn't matter if i woke up singing or not. if the clock isn't saying atleast 6, mom doesn't want to know.
mom and dad were grumbly this morning, i on the other hand was in a great mood. mom found me a load of fun shows to watch while i played with my toys. i find the talking bunny and inventive coyote very entertaining. mom says most things i need to know about life i can learn from wile e coyote.
i ate my usual mush and banannana. i made some stinky poops. i waved dad off to work. i gave mom a hard time about getting dressed. i've started screaching when she tries to get me to do things i don't want to. so i screached a lot and thrashed and then ran around laughing. mom finally manged to get all my clothes on plus shoes. we headed out the door for our morning adventure.
mom took me to the pheonix, oh god, please no baby yoga. today we went to a different room. the green haired lady with wings was waiting for us- pixie maz! the green hair i find a bit weird but she is loads of fun. i had a great time running around the room and inspecting her bags. pixie maz has a big bag like the one gram uses when she comes to visit, so i worked all the zippers, played with the handle and then rolled it around the room. i found mr frog hanging out in the bag so i took him out and carried him around while we sang songs and drank pixie tea.

today was an ok day. i didn't fight too much with mom and i was a pretty good boy. mom took me for a walk in the afternoon to the park across the street. i wore my puddle stomping boots good thing too because it was super muddy. i ran around the park yelling, whoo-hooo.(actually it's more like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh, it's one of my happy i'm having fun yells) i picked a few flowers. i tested the gates. i had a go on the springy fish and seesaws. i shook the climbing ropes and chains.
oh yeah and i walked all the way there and home again. we didn't take buggy.
mom made me an experimental fish dinner version 2. i liked it. i'm not sure if it's the yummy taste or watching mom gag while she cooks the fish that i enjoy more.

mom says i'm on my final warning. she's cool with me not sleeping through the night but if i wake her and dad up again before 6am, i'm going to loose some big boy points. apparently 5am is a retarded time to get up.
today was kinda weird but i had fun.
i got mom and dad up at 5am. i hung out and did stuff and they did stuff. mom finally fed me. dad went to work. so far so usual.
mom got me dressed and we went for our walk. we ended up at music class. oh goodie. i love music class. i was really good and did everything i was supposed to. i even played the drum the right way.
mom took me shopping. we battled old people for cheap cheese and buyonegetonefree cheerios.
i had a nap. i heard mom talking about me though. i was sleeping and all i could her was her yammering on. i got up and mom changed me. next thing i know dad came banging through the door. dad's home! i haven't even had my lunch yet. mom gave me a kiss and said i had to be good for dad.
i spent the afternoon doing fun stuff with dad. he tried to feed me lunch. i told him to stuff it. all i want is fruity pots and carrot cake bars. after our lunch battle dad got me ready and we went out, just the two of us.
dad took me to the park with swings. i had loads of fun. after the swings we walked around in the grass and mom showed up. well i think it was mom, she looks funny. turns out mom just went to get a hair cut, lots of hair cuts. dad had to go back to work so mom took me home.
i got into a fight with mom over dinner. i told her where she could stuff that nasty shepard's pie she was trying to feed me. i ended up with some in my nose and on my head. i conceded and ate a few spoons after that.
there's been a lot of banging and sparkly lights outside tonight. mom says it's some kind of english thing involving bonfires and the celebration of tearing a man to shreds hundreds of years ago. and they call the american's blood thirsty.

mom says today is the big day. choose wisely everyone. choose wisely.

today i dropped my first things in the big person potty. i dropped half a roll of big people buttwipe in there. dad dragged me out of the potty room for a telling off. i think i heard mom laughing. she had to clean up the mess. buttwipe goes in the potty bowl right?
the folks have been annoyed with me the past week or so. i guess there has been another one of those seasonal time displacement episodes. blankie and i agree that it's 6am but mom and dad's clocks all say 5am. what the heck? blankie and i like to get up at 6am, not our fault your clocks are fucked up.
went to music class today. loads of new kids.

it was stupid cold all weekend but i had the best time ever. it was all weekend monkey show on tv. i watched monkeys from morning until night, two days in a row. it freaken ruled!

today mom dragged me off to see some bagpipe players. oh god what is that racket? it sounded terrible. mom says bagpipes rule. i disagree, strongly. i told her to take me home so i could have a nap in peace.