my mom is a huge dork





on another note. today mom let me try something she called mummified grapes. she said it's ok to eat them if they come out of a crinkle package. not ok if you find them on the ground outside because they might not be food then.

today is tuesday for those people out there who think it's monday again.
i was restless last night. i got mom up really early and kept her up most of the night with my grumbles and bar rattling. we dragged ourselves out of bed at the usual time.
gram and grandad were up early. i ate my breakfast and had some free play time with them. mom and i then had naps at 9am. we were sleepy and grumpity.
got up from nap at 11am. i played with grandad while mom heated up my lunch. i had leftover spinach cheesy fish dish. tasted better the first time, but i ate it all in the end. for dessert i got to try some of gram's homemade meringues, no lemons involved this time. ooooh tasty. mom crumbled up a meringue in my custard pot and it was extra yummy. i also had some lime jello. we have lots of lime jello. (mom made it for the party and turns out olive oil, fried food, and jerkface don't eat jello. they had no problem eating cheese puffs and pork rinds.- hey look mom started gagging just typing the words, and cake.)
anyway. auntie amy and uncle tom came to visit. i'm going out with auntie amy tomorrow, we're having a secert adventure. i showed off my walking. we all played and laughed in the livingroom. then everyone left. auntie amy and uncle tom went out running. gram and grandad got in car and headed off on their trip. they won't be back for days. humph.

dad left this morning. i was mumbling in my sleep so mom took me downstairs. i got a good bye kiss and dad was gone. it's ok though, mom says we will be moving soon and we'll see dad all the time.
just been having a quiet day. ate breakfast. spent time with mom playing with my new toys. spent time with gram.
i ate a huge lunch. gram made me fish with creamy cheesy spinach sauce. oh so good. i also had a fruity pot and some lime jello.
oh gag. mom made me try beetroot. gross gross gross. i had a half of grilled cheese samich and some left over shepard's pie- much better.
had songs and stories with gram and grandad. auntie amy joined in too. gram made lemon meringue pie. i tried to touch it. mom let me try a tiny taste. i gagged, that shit was almost as bad as the beetroot.
mom says that now i am a big boy i get to try more real people foods.

it's my birthday!
i has toyz!
i goes for my walkz
cake cake cake
bed ways is right ways

it's my freaken birthday! mom says it's been one whole year since i hatched out. so far i've fared better than any of her house plants.
mom says all the exciting stuff is happening later. until then i have to be a good boy.
so far today i've had my mush and eat banannana. for snack i had something called a cheese straw. gram made them. kinda weird but tasty enough.
auntie amy and uncle tom came over with loads of things- all for me. having a birthday rules! i've also gotten a card from cousin mel, with green paper in it. mom stuffed that in my money pig.
oh and dana bunny and greatest gram called me but mom had to take a message because i was out. gram and i had to get some last minute party things.

jeebus fucking christ i can smell colors and see through time. i am so freaken high it's unreal. you wouldn't believe the stuff mom let me eat today.
i tried a sausage roll, it was good. for my dinner i had something called a grilled cheese samich. damn it was good.
when i was done with samich mom moved me into the livingroom. she placed my chair on a plastic sheet that was covering the floor. all the guests were confused. gram came in carring my cake and everyone sang happy birthday. i was given chocolate cake! it went every where but mostly in my mouth. it was so freaken awesome.

it's birthday eve. i woke up singing today. this morning after breakfast mom let me play. i found my steering wheel. i dragged it behind the rocking chair. i then adjusted my wiggle matt to make a rough fort. it was awesome.
i got an ouchie. i fell in the kitchen and wacked my mouth on a drawer knob. stupid knob. there was crying and blood. mom was right though, after a few kisses from her and gram i felt loads better. plus now i have a fat lip and look bad ass.
went out with gram. we did some chores but mostly goofed off at the park. mom staid home and vaccuumed up all my carpet fuzzies. i'm annoyed abut that. i've been eating them for snack.
had shepard's pie again for lunch- yum. just been playing with mom. that's my day so far. dad is on his way here. can't wait to see him.
dad is here! i'm so excited to see him. i squaked and flapped my arms when he showed up. dad! i showed him some of my walking. just going to hang out with the folks before bed.

started off the day as usual. got mom up. she took me downstairs. i watched wheels on the bus and connie the cow.
i ate some warm mush and some banannana. i drank some juicy. mom let me out fo my chair and i crawled around.
gram and grandad got up. i said morning to them before mom took me off. mom made me get dressed. stupid clothes. i even had to wear shoes.
so i was there playing when gram came in and said, 'let's go.' i know what that means. i scrambled to the door and out we went. mom and grandad came too.
gram and i went to storytime. mom and grandad went shopping. we all met back up at the lieberry cafe. i got stuffed on shepard's pie and custard pot. mom took me to go play. i pushed buggy for miles.(ok not really miles, but really far and over rough terrain.) mom took me to the swings and pushed me high in the sky.
when the sky started to pee on us we went to find gram and grandad. we all got in car and went home. it was such a nice day.
on top of being laods of fun mom said i could try a few new things today. i got a bowl of cheerios in real people milk. it was weird but good. at dinner mom made soup and i got a slice of buttered bread. i liked that too.
ok so i got to eat new things. i had super fun adventure. to wrap up my day i'm going to have quiet time with gram.

what did i do today? mom and i slept alright. we got up at the usual time. we did the usual stuff.
gram got up. we went shopping together. i helped put things in the basket. we got home in time for lunch. i ate a huge lunch.
after everyone was fed and watered gram and grandad took me out to find some fun.
got home in time for mom to stuff me full of dinner. it was a nice day.

i woke up singing, lalalallala. i slept all night and didn't get up until 6am. mom says- yeah! we went downstairs. mom let me watch my morning shows. i really like cartoons. there are talking animals and cars, usually a song and some kind of story. what's not to like?
mom let me play a few minutes while my mush cooled. i practiced my walking.
ate my mush and banannana. i played some mre. gram got up. i tried to help her eat her flakes. mom says i can start on flakes soon. mom and i went off to play. she got me dressed.
hung out with mom a bit, playing. we went to see gram. once mom and gram were gathered together, i showed them my walking. i went from couch into the kitchen. i took nice even well balanced steps. all my practice is paying off. i totally walked.
almost time for bed. cool stuff alert: mom shared a treat with me. it was a chocolate mint crispy flaky straw of yum. i got a special treat for being a good boy and walking so far. auntie amy came to visit. she brought me a phone. my 0wn phone, freaken awesome. i also got to help grandad wash the car. he did all the work and i supervised from my buggy. you missed a spot.

i was super bad last night. i gave mom a hard time about every thing and only let her get about 2hrs sleep. i fussed pretty much from midnight to 5.30am. and i didn't go to bed until 9pm.
anyway mom and i ended up crashing downstairs. i got up again at 7am. mom went and made my mush. gram must have heard us banging around because she got up early.
i said good morning to gram. mom took me off to get dressed and for play time. gram called for me a little later and off we went.
i went out for a super fun day with gram and grandad. mom staid home to be grumpy. we went to storytime at the lieberry. we did shopping. we ate lunch and we played in the park. it was a busy morning.
went back home and i spent time with mom. i ate my dinner. i practiced walking. after all that fun gram got my bath and i had a splash- whoooo hooo.

i went on an adventure yesterday with gram, auntie amy and uncle tom.
we got home after my bedtime. mom tried for hours to convince me it was time for sleep. nope nope nope. no sleep for me. i got sucked into watching tinman. two words- flying monkeys. where can i find one? after tinman was over mom put on this boring ass movie- brokeback mountain. mom assures me it's a nice film but extra sad now the actor who played ennis is dead. i only last 5min.
had an ok sleep. i tried to get mom up early but she used the musical mind control nightlight on me. we didn't get out of bed until 7am.
this walking thing is harder than it looks. i've got more lumps, bumps and bruises. i just got another black eye to match the other side.

i was fussy last night. mom took me upstairs and i didn't want to sleep in that bed. i tried to talk her in to letting me sleep in her bed. mom said- no freaken way. hardwick sleeps in hardwick's bed. oh man. she turned on musical mind control nightlight and pumped a bottle full of warm milk into me. i had all kinds of crazy dreams and mom says i mumbled most of the night. i also tried to get her up at 4am, 5.30am, and finally 6.30am.
been spending time with gram. it's finally a nice day. we went to the park. i really like the park. mom says there is a park around the corner from our new house. goodie. gram and i filled out my birthday invites and posted them through people's doors. i'm totally having a huge ass party.
i'm supposed to go on a trip with aunti amy and uncle tom in a bit. guess i better get ready.

ouchie. i was crawling behind mom and not following at a safe distance. when she reversed i got my fingers stepped on. i cried. mom picked me up, popped a sucker in and we rushed to find blankie. i got kisses to make things better. mom inspected fingers and found all probes intact and not broken. i told blankie all about it. 5 mins later i forgot all about the whole thing.
mom and i spent the day hanging out. gram was at work. grandad was at work. dad is in another city and also at work. mom says she has to deal with me all day, that is super hard work. exspeically when i need my diaper changed. which i needed done a few time with my super stinky poopie downloads.
mom says i get credit for being a good boy. i took my naps and ate my food with out complaining and that is all she hopes for. we played loads, read some stories and sang songs. i tried walking a few times. i've got things set up so i can walk all around a room holding on to toys, walls, furniture. once in a while i don't hold on. i'm building my confidence up.
mom says that dana bunny and g-dad have surfaced. they are home at their house, the one that doesn't float. she is supposed to call them

breaking news: i walked. mom saw me. she said the two steps i took totally count.
i was leaning up against the couch thinkng about stuff. i decided to have a try. i threw my in the air and just went for it. i got two good steps in before falling over. mom rolled me around and gave me pats on the back. yeah! i'm getting there.
well what have i done today? i made two stinky poops. i ate my meals- loads of veggies, so mom can expect more poops tomorrow. i played with my toys. mom and i hung out. i had two naps even though i really didn't want to. i had some laughs with grandad. since dad has gone to the new place, i;m going to have to do all my guy stuff with grandad. i wonder if he can make a spit bubble beard.
gram has come home from work. i'm going to spend sime time with her.
new season of jericho starts tonight at 8pm. i so can't freaken wait!

mom says today is a super busy. since i've pretty much been up since 3am, mom made breakfast early. i ate my mush and drank some juicy. mom put me back in my cot. i watched some shows while she napped.
dad came down early and took me to go hang out with him. gram got up. we shared a banannana.
gram and i got dressed. we headed out to do chores. oh and play in the park.
when we got home mom fed me a huge lunch. i love a huge lunch. after eating mom and i went to go play. dad came in and said- bye. bye? hey where's dad going? mom says he is going to go set up our new house.
so gram, grandad and dad all got into the big van wiht boxes of stuff. they drove off leaving me with mom. humph.
mom and i ended up having an alright day. she says i was much better behaved. i took my naps and was in a good mood.

i tried to get mom up at 4.30am. she said, "oh hello no." she popped sucker in my mouth and turned on my musical mind control nightlight. i guess that worked becuase i didn't get up again until 6.30am.
mom and i went downstairs. i watched my morning shows. i learned the sign for seagull. ate the mush mom made. she let me eat my banannana like a big boy. i tried not to bite too much off.
spent some time playing with gram. we always have a good time. grandad got up and we watched some videos on Utube. i hung out with mom until nap time.
after naps mom stuffed me full of yummy stuff. i ate chicken casserole. gram makes good casseroles. mom got me dressed. she said i could either go shopping with her and dad or i could go to the park with gram. park park park.
had loads of fun at the park. gram let me play in the grass. i was inspecting a few blades and gram told me how cow, horse and sheep all eat grass. i gathered up a huge handful and stuffed it in my mouth. if cow thinks grass is good, i wanted to try some too.
i came back from the park with a black eye. i look bad ass. i spent the rest of the night giving mom a hard time. i didn't want to eat my dinner. then i got really made because she said we were sleeping downstairs. i complained most of the night about that.

got off to an early start this morning. i started making fussy noises around 5am. mom finally said we could get up at 6am. i got to play and watch my shows while she made breakfast.
went to the kitchen and grandad was there. it's always nice to see grandad before he leaves for work.

i slept all the way to 6am. mom and i got up and did our morning thing. i had mush and banannana rounds. mom has been making me eat rounds ever since i almost choked the other day.
mom and i played and watched the morning shows. gram got up, yeah, gram.
lots of random stuff was going on. mom put me in my cot and i fell asleep. when i woke up, we were at the lieberry. whooo-hoo. i was playing after story time and mom came in. mom had bags. i guess she went shopping while we did stories.
me, mom and gram got in the car and headed home. on the way we stopped in this place called repton. gram and i went to a tearoom. mom went picture taking. before going back to the car we stopped to visit gram's cousin, he lives next to the tearoom in a house that is 300years old. that was cool.

i got up at 6am. sun's up, i'm up. let's go go go. oh wow. i had a super good day. i was fussy with mom and she made me take a nap. stupid naps. when i got up mom gave me juicy and some cookies. i also got a big person yoghurt pot. mom got me dressed.
gram came in and said, come on, let's go. go? where are we going? on a super secret adventure of course. we were gone all day. it was so much freaken fun. i played in the grass. i did the swings. best of all i got to splash in the kiddie pool. it was like a giant bathtub- just no bubbles.

slept ok. mom says i was grumbling in my sleep. ogt up at 6am. went downstairs. saw my morning shows, mom made my mush. i ate it up. i sneezed during one spoonful and sprayed mush all over mom- haha. mom made me eat banannana rounds.
got out of my chair and i played. i zoomed my bus around the livingroom and kitchen. i saw my going out bag and rifled through it. mom found me hiding behind the kitchen island stuffing a cookie in my mouth. there are always treats in my going out bag.
spent some time with gram and dad. i played. gave dad a hard time abut getting dressed. usually mom does it. now dad knows it's harder than it looks and getting me dressed does not look easy. gram took me out for a buggy ride. i helped her shop and do stuff.
got home and had a snack. auntie pastie came to visit. hi auntie pastie. going to have a nap. mom says we are doing something this afternoon.
what an afternoon! gram and mom took me to pizza hut. we were the only ones there. mom let me try spicy potato wedges, pizza and garlic bread. i wasn't too impressed by the garlic bread but that other stuff was good.
had a short nap when we got home. spent the rest of my day goofing off with gram. we played chase. had a splash in the bath. we read stories and sang songs. i'm going to watch frasier before bed.

gave mom a super hard time last night. she said i am very frustrating to deal with. well she really didn't use those exact words but that's jist. hey, did you know jeebus's middle name is fucking. jeebus fucking christ, what where his folks thinking? kept mom up most of the night and mom kept dad up. it was not a good scene.
went downstairs at 6am. watched my morning shows and mom made my mush. ran into a problem with banannana. i bit off a little more than i should have and started to choke. i got smacked on the back and everything was sorted.
mom and i played. i tried some walking. i was standing against my cot and took a step towards mom. i fell down on my butt. later i tried a few more steps without holding on. mom says it's time to charge up the video camera batteries.

it's humid out. i can't do a thing with my hair. it;s gone all curly.
since i've slept so well the past few nights i decided to switch things up a bit. i got mom up in the middle of the night and was fussy. she said i could sleep with her and dad. i went back to sleep for an hour or so before deciding 5.30am was a good time to get up. mom said, ugh.
ate breakfast. gram got up. she invited me to hang out, yippie. gram and i played and watched frasier. mom uploaded and updateryed the blog.
i had an early lunch. i ate loads and it was good. when i was done getting stuffed mom got me dressed. stupid clothes.
went out on an adventure with gram and grandad. the weather has been really nice so we went out to enjoy it. fun fun.
spent the rest of the day hanging out with mom and dad.

had another good night sleep. ate my mush and banannana. mom and i played.
i had a long nap. when i got up i ate some good food. mom put some clothes on me and made dad get dressed too. i got strapped in my buggy and out the door we went. i thought we were headed to the park, turns out our trip was to the food store. aaah nutz.
got home and had some play time with gram. grandad got back from work early so i got to goof off with him too. it was a nice way to spend my sunday.

slept through the night again. that's like 3 nights in a row. watched my morning shows while mom got breakfast ready. saw grandad before he went to work.
mom and i watched some shows. she got me dressed and the two of us went out on a mission. we went to the post-it office and mailed something.
got home. played and ate my lunch. it was super good. i had some left over lentil casserole, yummy.
gram invited me out to the park. we did the swings. we watched the ducks. some dogs came over and i got sniffed. the park is so fun.

had a great 24hrs with gram and grandad. we did super fun stuff. mom and dad got home just in time to give me good night kisses. i gave them both big hugs. i guess i missed them.

i woke up this morning and both mom and dad were gone. did aliens take them in the night? i called gram and she said they went on a trip and would be back tomorrow. oh manz.