oh man. stupid musical mind control night light. i tell you that things is evil. this morning i woke up at an ok time. it was still dark out but i'm sure it was at least 6.30am. that's an ok time to get up. the good shows are just starting. so i sat in bed and talked to blankie and monkey about things we might do today. i turned on the musical mind control night light so we could listen to some tunes. next thing i know mom is poking me awake telling me it's after 8am and i should get out of bed already. what the hell? i was so annoyed. at least mom had a fresh diaper and breakfast waiting for me.
i looked around for dad but i couldn't find him this morning. mom said he would be back later. i ate breakfast and watched some shows. sponge bob makes me laugh. mom said that i had a surprise coming my way later. ooooh a surprise. whatever.
mom and i played, read stories and watched cartoons. i helped mom do the laundry and clean the bathroom too. there was a knock on our door and mom went to see who it was. she was talking to some lady so i went to investigate- it was my gram! holy hell. gram is here for a visit. whoo-hoo.

i slept through the night again. that makes a few nights in a row now. i go to sleep and i wake up in my bed. when i get up mom and dad give me lots of hugs and tell me what a good boy i am. whatever. just give me some juicy and mush. i've been helping dad eat his pink grapefruit lately. i like those, very tasty. i usually eat half of dad's breakfast and then all of my own. put food in me.
so far so good i guess. mom and i watched shows after dad left. we got into a little fight because i wanted my blankie out of bed and she was trying to get me ready for a walk. so i made some poops. she changed me and then i made some more poops. we ended up being late for our walk. mom dragged me over to the arts building. we went to visit pixie maz this morning. i wasn't expecting that. i wasn't too interested in flying around the room or swimming under the sea. i sat and made calls on pixie's phone and brewed some imagination tea.
mom took me home and stuffed me full of her homemade lasagna. it is very yummy. mom had some for lunch too. after lunch she made me get dressed for another walk. oh man. i just want to sit with robin blanket and watch curious george. mom and i walked into town. she put me in buggy when we got close to the shops. we went into the post office for some ungodly reason. it was busy. we waited and waited and it was so boring. finally the man called mom and she was talking to him and that was even more boring so i went to sleep. i woke up at home- yeah. mom says that my passport application is now in the mail.

mom and i had a good day. we just kind of hung out and did stuff. we went for a little walk and then bought stuff at the store. we really don't have plans on thursdays so we just roam around. we went into a few shops to see if they had things we might like, nope. no monkeys needed rescuing and no interesting books were about. we got home from our travels and there was a package waiting for me. it was a book. mom found it for me and someone sent it in the mail. it's a book all about thomas and his friends. mom and i read the first story, gordon falls down a slope into the mud.
i've eaten a really big dinner. mom and i are going to watch the night garden show and wait for dad to get home.

oh yeah, i dumped a whole box of mini shredded wheats on the kitchen floor. i was trying to pour some out into my snack cup, whoops.

i slept through the night, in my own bed. i woke up this morning and was talking things over with nightnight bear when i heard dad starting to rustle. i got up and gave a little cry so he would know to come get me. mom gave me lots of hugs and kisses and told me what a good boy i was. gesh lady, i slept through the night i didn't cure cancer.
had a usual morning. watched my shows, ate my mush. hung out with mom after dad left for work. mom and i got dressed and went out. the weather was much nicer today so i got to walk. we walked down to the shops. mom took me into a picture store. this guy pointed a weird camera at me and snapped a few pictures. mom said that i needed to have my passport picture redone because the first batch were crap and she wasn't going to run the risk of them being rejected. ok whatever.
after the camera store mom plopped me in buggy and pushed me to music class. we got there a little early. lena and lucy were there with their moms having snacks. they had sippy cups just like mine- a red one and an orange one. lena had a snack cup just like mine- purple. they were eating cheesey puffs and had a purple fruit pouch just like mom feeds me. i got out of buggy and ran right over to them and started begging/trying to steal their treats. lena was getting really mad and swung at me a few times, she missed. haha, germans have terrible aim. lucy's mom gave me a few cheesey puffs. didn't matter that mom has a bag full of the same treats, i wanted the girl's.
i was a good boy in music class, but cheeky. i stole abbie's ticktoc off of the table. i really like the ticktoc, the past few days i've been walking around the house saying ticktoc, ticktoc. today we played drums, bells and maracas.
after class mom dragged me to the grocery store. i was so bored by her nonsense babbling, i fell asleep. i woke up at home. mom said the mail man had left a package for me. she opened it for me and what was in there? a thomas dvd. whoo-hoo. i'm going to spend the afternoon watching thomas.

it's raining. blah. mom has gone out and i'm spending the morning with dad. that is fun. dad and i are watching shows and doing guy stuff.

i slept ok, mom slept ok and we were in good moods. dad slept ok too but he spends all day at work so it really doesn't matter if he's in a good mood or not. mom and i didn't fight so that was nice. we went to music class today. i sat quietly with mom and was a good boy. i gave jojingles a big hug and a kiss when he came around to say good morning. good morning jojingles. i've been making mom and dad play my jojingles cd endlessly, for days now. if it's not playing i get the case and wave it at the cd player so they know to put it on for me. i do the same thing with toast. if mom gives me a piece of bread, i take it back into the kitchen and wave it at the toaster.
i sat next to alex in class today. he's ok. mom thinks that i should talk to him more since we probably have a lot in common. he likes marmite toast and so do i. i just want to sit with mom though.
i've been saying a few things lately. my big thing is shoes. i like to talk about shoes. i like to play with my shoes while i talk about them. shoes shoes shoes. i have a lot of shoes. the other day when mom was done changing me she said- good job, and then i said good job. when we were in the kitchen talking about hot and cold. she pointed to the freezer and said cold so i went over to the freezer and touched it and said cold.

special message for my greatest gram. mom says that you had to go to the hospital for a while. i've been to the hospital before, it's super boring there. all i did was lay around in bed and have some milk. mom says you will probably be slightly less bored since you have a phone and most likely a tv and bedside internet, i didn't have all that. it was just me and mom and a bunch of other babies and moms. hope you get out soon and don't catch anything nasty off the sick people.
it's sunday. i'm having a load of fun hanging out with my dad. today we built some brick towers. dad couldn't show he had planning permission so i came along and knocked them down. haha. then i helped him rebuild and knocked everything down again.
mom took me out to the store. i walked like a good boy. when it was time to do the shopping i sat in my buggy like a good boy. we went in one store and all you could hear was this kid screaming his lungs out. they only slightly naughty thing i did today was rip a price sign off the veg rail. now the old ladies won't know how much cox apples are. we saw the screaming kid in the candy aisle when mom went to get her dark chocolate supplies. he was screaming and his parents were cramming jelly babies in his mouth to try and shut him up. mom didn't think that idea would work too well.
oh nuts. mom just realized it's nap time. i gotta run.

mom and i are still fighting about where i get to sleep. last night i would cry for a bit and then wait. cry some more and then wait. i did that for a few hours before mom finally came in and got me. once i got into bed with her i went right back to sleep.
spent the morning playing. mom and dad had a quick talk about what to do with the day. mailman came and delivered a bunch of important stuff. mom says my passport paper work is here as is some key grandad sent.
dad said that since we had the key, now we could use the car. mom hurried and got me dressed so we could all go byebye in the car before town got busy. oh neato. where did they take me? a freaken grocery store. i helped dad go around and put things in the cart. we got home just as the traffic was getting bad and just in time for lunch. i ate some soup mom had made while i watched curious george. auntie amy brought me the curious george movie last time she was here, it rules.
not sure what i'm going to do with the rest of my day. mom and i will probably hang out doing stuff.

mom didn't seem so thrilled to see me this morning at 2am when i woke her up with my screaming. instead of the feel sorry for myself whimper i've been using, last night i tried the full bodied come get me now shriek. it worked great. i got right into bed with mom and quickly went back to sleep. i win.
this morning mom was grumpity. for some reason she hasn't been getting much sleep and i guess being kicked in the head all night annoys her. i saw her give dad the evil eye.
mom said that all fun was canceled for the day and i would have to do boring stuff. we got dressed and mom dragged me off to the grocery store. i walked part of the way but it was really windy and the sun was super bright so i had a hard time. mom plopped me down in buggy and i was cool with that. i was a good boy in the store. i didn't kick any old ladies and i didn't scream. mom filled the basket with diet coke and dark chocolate, she said it's going to be that kind of day.
after the grocery store mom dragged me across the street to the hospice charity shop. oh man, stupid looking at clothes and trying to find treasure. mom bought a load of crap. seriously. she bought a book called: everyone poops. after stripping that shop of all it's good kids stuff mom took me down to oxfam and we found more things to buy. dad will be so thrilled. i got a cool monkey shirt from next, a megablocks train engine and two looney tunes stuffies- bugs and that poor unfortunate coyote.
when we got home there was a load of packages sitting outside the door. it's like freaken christmas all up in here. i got some cool monkeys from gram and grandad and they also sent a book about washing your face. the other stuff was for mom. what a day.

this morning didn't really work out how i expected. i got up around 4am. i made a few pathetic cries to see if mom would come and get me into bed with her. no one came. i stood up to look around my room and mom wasn't even in the room. i cried a little louder, just a couple quick bursts. still no mom. i laid back down and whimpered feeling sorry for myself. then i heard mom leaving the bathroom. i jumped back up and gave her a good shout. i know you're up mom, you better be on your way in here to give me snuggles. when the door finally opened i cranked it up really good so mom would feel bad and give me lots of cuddles in bed. well, it didn't turn out like that. mom said- oh you want to get up, ok. we can get up. and she got me out of bed and we went into the tv room. she plopped me down with blankie and monkey and said- welcome to your day. i just blinked at her. it's 4.30am crazy lady, i want cuddles and more sleep.
later on mom and i took a walk. she said we could stop and watch trains, whoo-hoo.

i went to music class and it was fun. i snatched monkey off the table and he sat with me the whole time. i banged my drum really loud and was good enough. i'm more adventurous then i was when i first started classes. i don't cling to mom and i will venture off. mom says that's fine. pretty much all the kids are bigger than me so i can't hurt them much if i decided to do something not nice.

oh god. mom made me watch some boring ass show called inauguration. what was the head guy's name? shaft? (mom says after you get your tax review, you'll understand)

mom says the excitement is finally coming to an end. this morning grandad and uncle tom had to go back home. now it's just me, mom and dad. i cried a little. ok i really just threw myself on the ground and fake cried, but the thought was there. i like having visitors.
my cold is finally gone. i am back to eating full bowls of food, peeing lots and making poops. everything is functioning at 100%.
this morning after everyone had left mom got me dressed and we went out too. i didn't even make it across the bridge onto the sidewalk before mom put me in buggy. i was extra evil this morning. first i laid down flat out on the ground, i just laid there. i wasn't fussing or screaming like i have seen other kids do, it was just a silent protest. then i sat on the ground and looked around. mom finally had enough and pulled me onto my feet so i swung around in my harness. all this probably went on a good 5min right in front of the door to our building. mom said if i wasn't going to cooperate, it was the chair for me. ok fine.
mom rolled me into town. she said all the planned fun for the day was now canceled and i had to go with her to the grocery store instead. whatever.

grandad and uncle tom took me to music class today. i showed them what is what. i didn't pay any attention and we even sang some of my favorite songs. i ran around and inspected buggy wheels.

busy weekend, busy weekend and i'm feeling better. whoo-hoo.

today is a super important day. my dad got all dressed up in his fancy clothes. grandad, gram and auntie amy are here for a visit. i spent the morning with auntie amy and mom. gram, grandad and dad went to something called a graduation ceremony. mom said that dad had to wear a dress, oh wait- gown and walk across a stage in front of a load of people and somebody would give him a sheep skin to carry. oh english people and your weird ass rituals. mom says the final test to becoming a Dr should be you have to revive the sheep skin because so many Drs think they are god.
uncle tom is supposed to come later and we are going to spend the next few days saying- way to go dad.

last night i had issues. i made poops, epic poops. so much poops came out my diaper couldn't handle it all. it was squishy and stinky and stuck all over me. i was very upset about the whole thing and started screaming. i danced around the bathroom covered in poops while mom got a quick bath ready. getting in the bath made me sheik. i can't have a bath now! i'm covered in poops. clean poops first. dad came busting into the bathroom in the middle of it all. i think he thought mom was drowning me. mom told him not to come and when he got a whiff, he knew why. mom manged to get me cleaned up and dad dried me off. not a very nice way to spend an evening.
even though i slept pretty much all of yesterday, i went to bed with mom and slept all night. we didn't get up until almost 8am. i tried to eat some breakfast. mom made a bowl of mush with a fruity pot. i ate most of it before i felt sick and it all came back out. mom manged to catch all the pukies in the bowl so clean up was easy. so much for breakfast. i grabbed blankie and curled up on mom for some more rest. i didn't want to eat anything or really drink either.
after i had a little more rest mom got me some water to drink and that was good. she gave me a rusk and i ate most of that without a problem. we both got dressed and went to the store. mom got me some medicine that is like what sick babies get in america called pedialyte. she said that will help me out since i haven't had much to eat or drink lately. ok whatever mom. we got a few more things at the store and went home.
i finished the rest of my rusk with monkey. monkey is a messy eater, he's all covered in crumbs now. the two of us are going to curl up with blankie and sleep some more. i've tried mom's weird new medicine, it's alright. all i have to do is drink it.

i wrote a poem last night while i lay awake in bed feeling sorry for myself.

woe thy name is hardwick
your mom is an unwashed dog
your dad a cold indifferent son
you are an unfortunate child.

i read it to mom and she said, ease up on the melancholy llama drama, you're riding him too hard.
i have angst, mom says it's just a fever.
she has taken all my clothes

what is my mom trying to do to me? i'm going to be scared for life right? deep emotional trauma from which i may never recover. last night was messed up.
i ate my dinner just fine. i didn't give mom any hassle. i got to stay up a little passed my bed time because dad was late getting home. mom said i could spend time with him while his dinner cooked and then once dinner was ready i had to go nightnight. ok fine. it was nice to spend time with dad. mom came and took me off to bed. i was cool with that because by 8.30 i was pretty tired. i curled up with blankie and mom.
i woke up. i often wake up a short while after i go to bed. i cry and mom comes to get me and we sleep in the big bed together. that's what's supposed to happen. that's what always happens. well not last night. i whimpered a bit and no mom. i kicked it up a notch and still no mom. i pitched a shrieking fit and threw things out of my bed and still no mom. finally i got bored and sat down to whimper and feel sorry for myself. mom came in for her bedtime and i jumped right up and started crying again. she turned around and left. what the hell. i'm crying here. that was the last i saw of her until this morning.
man i had a really great sleep. i slept through all of my favorite shows. i didn't get up until after 8am. the sun was even out by the time i got up. mom was there too. when she picked me up, i grabbed her real tight.
mom gave me some corn flakes to munch on while she made my breakfast. she babbled on that since it's cold out again and we have a busy day, i should probably have some oatmeal for my breakfast. fucking hell, didn't you get the memo lady- no more bland tasteless mush! she only made me half a batch and then it got mixed with a fruity pot, damn if it didn't taste alright. i ate the whole bowl. i also had some baby orange slices, mom says they will help me with the rest of this stupid cold.
after breakfast mom and i played for a bit and then got dressed. mom said we had stuff to do, stuff to do. great. we walked into town and i was a pretty good boy. our first stop was the grocery store. i had to sit in my buggy and i was fine with that. i helped mom get things we kinda needed. after that mom rolled me to the cathedral.
i had a fit at the cathedral. i didn't want to walk and i didn't want to ride in buggy. i wanted mom to carry me. i screamed and shrieked and danced around. mom just laughed and patted my head saying- there, there. then she took off walking. what the hell. so i walked along next to her while i shrieked and cried. i tried to sit down in protest and when i did, the woman picked me up and strapped me in buggy. she put a rice cake in my hand and told me to knock it off. so i whimpered and pouted.
in the end we made it to our next destination- monkey music! oh oh oh oh awesome! i'm in the big kid class now. everyone walks and talks and i'm pretty sure a few of them use the potty. we have a new teacher, her name is abi. she let me hold monkey today. i was a little rambunctious during class, but not too bad considering it was our first day back. i had a great time.

ok, blog service will probably be slightly disrupted until later in jan. i'm busy doing stuff and then more stuff.
things you may have missed. i got back to my house, where i live with my moms and dad a few days ago. gram, grandad and uncle tom all came with me to make sure i got there alright. i've had a cold for about a week now. lots of green ooze is leaking out of my nose and i cough. i did have a little fever but that seems to be gone. i fell good enough now, so cold must be almost over.
i've decided that i don't want to eat mush for breakfast any more. i have had enough. since i've been sick i don't really want to eat anything. before i got my cold though, i had been thinking- i don't really like any of the food i usually eat. i gave gram a hard time at dinner refusing all the things she made me. i just turn my head and push the spoon away.
i finally was allowed to go out for my walk yesterday. since i've been sick mom and gram have kept me inside. yesterday was not so cold but it did rain, but it wasn't cold so that was ok. gram said we could go to the park and jump in some puddles. i gave gram a terrible time. she was horrified. she told my mom when we got home and i got an earful off her. mom says next time gram can just leave me on the ground.
my usual routine has been all messed up so i'm going to bed at crazy hours.
today was a pretty terrible day. grandad and uncle tom left and they took gram with them. i waved bye to them and tried to hold gram back so she would stay with me. i was pretty upset for about 5min, then i got over it. i mean after all, i have my blankie and monkey and mom to terrorize so that's almost as good as gram. mom says she will be back in a few days anyway, right along with everyone else + auntie amy. oh boy.
dad came home for a surprise stop. since mom and i were headed out for a walk and dad was headed off to work, we all went together. i walked dad all the way to the big field where the swings are. i cried when he left. i haven't really seen much of dad the past few days and i wanted to spend more time with him. mom put me in my buggy and that really made me mad. i screamed for a bit but mom doesn't really care. she'd make me sit in buggy even if he was full of bitey bugs. so i gave up really quickly, why go through all the effort when the out come will be the same?
i was a good boy for the rest of our walk. mom took me home and we played for a bit before lunch. i tried to give mom a hard time about eating. i screamed every time the spoon came at me. i turned my head. i hit out trying to knock the spoon away. finally mom held both my arms and just put the spoon in my mouth while i screamed. lunch was a struggle but as mom pointed out i obviously was hungry/liked it because once it was in my mouth, i ate it without a problem.

ho hum. gram says today is the day i have to pack up all my things and go back to my house. i've had loads of fun this week and now i have to go back to mom and dad. oh man. i've had a busy week of doing stuff. gram and i have learned new songs to sing. i've played my drum and bells. we played toys. we've gone on a few walks and visited with friends. i've had a bit of a cold but nothing that will really slow me down. gram asked me last night if i wanted to have a splash in the bath. i ran and got my rubber duckie. you don't have to ask me twice, i love bathtime.
that's about it really. we're not leaving here until late so at least i get a full day of running around and having fun before i have to sit in the car forever.

today i helped gram with the chores. we had to deliver things to people and rummage around the grocery store. i was a good boy. i just sat in my buggy and waited for gram to finish. i played lots and ran around the house.
at dinner time i sat next to mom. she tried to feed me things and i told her where to stick that spoon. i didn't want any stupid curry. i didn't want any lame ass beans. i did try a couple french fries but that is only because monkey tried them first and he said they were good. mom said i could have bread and water again if that is how i wanted to be. gram came along and fed me a couple pots of things i like, so i didn't go hungry.
mom and dad spent a lot of time scurrying around the house and packing things into bags. mom said over and over again i was to be a good boy, blah blah blah. i was a little surprised when they both got their coats on after dinner and started loading things into the car. i watched out the window with gram until i saw mr moon and decided i was safer with the curtains shut. mom shoved some pocket money in my hand, gave me a kiss and went out the door. i waved bye from the step. i wasn't too concerned, after all i have my gram, blankie and cooper monkey.
bye mom and dad. i'm staying with my gram and grandad for a few days. i'm going to have so much fun.

today was my mom's birthday. gram took me out and helped me pick out a card for her. i got to use a pen and write my name. i took the card to mom. i was supposed to give it to her but i decided to keep it for myself. mom chased me around the house before i finally handed it over to her. she read it and i got a big kiss. happy birthday for my old moms.

grandad has to work today. so it looks like just me and gram doing fun things with our day.

i thought today was just going to be like a regular day. things took a turn for the weird when i got up from my nap. everyone was going around, i'm ready are you ready? we're ready, let's go. it was night time and we all went out, in the car. grandad drove us out into the middle of nowhere. i saw mr moon, he was watching and i was watching him. we got to the place we were going: the american diner. it's a big shiny box straight from 1950's america plunked down in the middle of nowhere england.
i wasn't convinced. they had a huge red light up sign about drinking coke. it scared me. when mom said that i was going to sit under the sign, i said 'no fucking way!'
eventually we got seats sorted out. i sat with gram, mom and auntie amy. grandad ended up sitting under the coke sign, he had dad and uncle tom to save him.
we ordered food. mom got me a chicken finger samich with fries. do amercian kids really eat that shit? i didn't even want to taste it. mom pulled it apart and i agreed to eat some of the bun. later auntie amy gave me a fry and i took a bite. meh. mom suckered me into tasting the chicken too. i was not impressed. i tell you what i did like- milkshakes. auntie amy and mom both had one and they were delicious.
mom said i was good enough when we were at the restaurant but she could have done without me making pukie on grandad. that was pretty gross.

mom says today is new years. i don't know what that means and i'm pretty sure i don't have to care.
not much to report. busy giving mom and dad a hard time at night. i've discovered a great game. i call it: kick mom in the head. i see how many times i can kick her in the head before she gets annoyed.
other than that just spending time with my gram and grandad. we do stuff. mostly we go for walks, it's fun.